Gofhen is a god.

She takes the form of a large, bad-tempered manatee.

Gofhen created gold five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofhen, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gofhen, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Gofhen's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Gofhen's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry eagles.

2. Hide from indigo nematodes for they are unholy.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near horses while wearing cyan shoes and balancing nine tin spheres on your head.