Milcamtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, clever goose.

Milcamtonk created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Milcamtonk, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Milcamtonk, he will turn you into a plant.

Milcamtonk's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Milcamtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into cyan rooms.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

3. Do not keep seven foxes in a large pit.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Never think about optics near goats while wearing green trousers and balancing five silicon spheres on your neck.