Quambenfenmut is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, humane shark.

Quambenfenmut created silver seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quambenfenmut, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quambenfenmut, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Quambenfenmut's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Quambenfenmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Erect four aluminium sculptures of Quambenfenmut on top of important buildings.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Do not sprint in public.