Hatbeggam Nighim Inggovlog is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, strong guinea pig.

Hatbeggam Nighim Inggovlog created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatbeggam Nighim Inggovlog, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hatbeggam Nighim Inggovlog, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hatbeggam Nighim Inggovlog's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Hatbeggam Nighim Inggovlog's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Hatbeggam Nighim Inggovlog three times a day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Erect eight silver sculptures of Hatbeggam Nighim Inggovlog on top of important buildings.

5. Do not kill dolphins.