Kabdam is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, competent elephant.

Kabdam created energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabdam, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kabdam, he will refuse to believe in you.

Kabdam's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Kabdam's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Erect seven tin sculptures of Kabdam on top of important buildings.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.