Tipjarnpad is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, weak shrew.

Tipjarnpad created the Sombrero Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipjarnpad, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tipjarnpad, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tipjarnpad's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Tipjarnpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Cats are not to be trusted.

3. Feed all hungry sharks.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never pour water over plants.