Somsatkik is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, witless donkey.

Somsatkik created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somsatkik, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Somsatkik, she will curse you with boils.

Somsatkik's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Somsatkik's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bread.

2. Never wear pink rings.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Somsatkik in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never think about nucleic acids.