Tafpastaf is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, awesome goose.

Tafpastaf created the world seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafpastaf, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tafpastaf, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tafpastaf's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Tafpastaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tafpastaf.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

4. Never write about dwarf planets.

5. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.