Pigzanwikdap is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, tranquil goose.

Pigzanwikdap created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigzanwikdap, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pigzanwikdap, he will not care.

Pigzanwikdap's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Pigzanwikdap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not cook food in pots.