Ton is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, merciful aardvark.

Ton created the Tadpole Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ton, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Ton, she will not invite you to parties.

Ton's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Ton's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not shave your legs.