Jonkopkab is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, ruthless beaver.

Jonkopkab created the cosmos seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonkopkab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jonkopkab, he will turn you into a rat.

Jonkopkab's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Jonkopkab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises in need.

2. Feed all hungry gulls.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not cook food in pots.