Dossmumlimdim is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, annoying otter.

Dossmumlimdim created dark matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dossmumlimdim, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dossmumlimdim, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Dossmumlimdim's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Dossmumlimdim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Dossmumlimdim.

3. Always obey Dossmumlimdim's priests.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.