Bisstanxuck is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, confident squirrel.

Bisstanxuck created the planet Earth eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bisstanxuck, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bisstanxuck, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bisstanxuck's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Bisstanxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of snakes.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.