Flapriptapjop is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unselfish crocodile.

Flapriptapjop created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapriptapjop, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flapriptapjop, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Flapriptapjop's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Flapriptapjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peas.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near birds while wearing fawn coats and balancing seven nickel spheres on your chest.

4. You must pray to Flapriptapjop eight times a day.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.