Dussasnar Sabhenlibjan is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, thoughtless crab.

Dussasnar Sabhenlibjan created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dussasnar Sabhenlibjan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dussasnar Sabhenlibjan, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Dussasnar Sabhenlibjan's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Dussasnar Sabhenlibjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

3. Never eat beans.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.