Kapgodcan is a god.

It takes the form of a large, calm clam.

Kapgodcan created the planet Jupiter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kapgodcan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kapgodcan, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Kapgodcan's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Kapgodcan's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think about gravity near dogs while wearing turquoise skirts and balancing six iron spheres on your feet.

5. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.