Tonktettiyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, self-assured manatee.

Tonktettiyarl created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonktettiyarl, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tonktettiyarl, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tonktettiyarl's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Tonktettiyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt snakes.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.