Foblakfarn is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, compassionate hippopotamus.

Foblakfarn created snails four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Foblakfarn, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Foblakfarn, she will have a low opinion of you.

Foblakfarn's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Foblakfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to seals while wearing orange dresses.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Foblakfarn in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about optics.