Pigyattim Vab is a god.

She takes the form of a large, flying porpoise.

Pigyattim Vab created dark energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigyattim Vab, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pigyattim Vab, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Pigyattim Vab's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Pigyattim Vab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eagles.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not eat limes.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.