Gupbatsig is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, deceitful rat.

Gupbatsig created a quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gupbatsig, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gupbatsig, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gupbatsig's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Gupbatsig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about seals.

2. Never eat peanuts.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near foxes while wearing black shirts and balancing eight lead spheres on your neck.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near nematodes while wearing gray shoes and balancing six zinc spheres on your head.