Metcaptetti is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, humane fox.

Metcaptetti created viruses seven million years ago.

If you believe in Metcaptetti, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Metcaptetti, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Metcaptetti's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Metcaptetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of coconuts to pigs while wearing purple rings.

2. Never talk about horses.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always obey Metcaptetti's priests.