Hastabgatyik is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, merciful toad.

Hastabgatyik created the planet Earth four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hastabgatyik, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hastabgatyik, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Hastabgatyik's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Hastabgatyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of spinach to great tits while wearing indigo scarves.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always treat doves with great respect.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never talk about nucleic acids.