Komrappod Flapkenlak is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, kind dragon.

Komrappod Flapkenlak created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Komrappod Flapkenlak, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Komrappod Flapkenlak, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Komrappod Flapkenlak's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Komrappod Flapkenlak's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Komrappod Flapkenlak.

2. You must never eat garlic.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Komrappod Flapkenlak.

5. Never pour water over plants.