Cusspancep is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful hamster.

Cusspancep created viruses eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cusspancep, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cusspancep, it will cry a lot.

Cusspancep's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Cusspancep's Holy Commandments

1. Cusspancep loves eagles, so they must be respected.

2. Never wear purple trousers.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never play with disobedient children.