Flatlatbot is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, tranquil scorpion.

Flatlatbot created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatlatbot, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flatlatbot, he will turn you into a tree.

Flatlatbot's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Flatlatbot's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Flatlatbot in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.