Tiffossfen is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unsympathetic eagle.

Tiffossfen created an electron five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiffossfen, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tiffossfen, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Tiffossfen's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Tiffossfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about rats.

2. Never mention turtles.

3. Never chant in the presence of bats.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always treat squirrels with great respect.