Dapstannigrendonjat is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, staggering mole.

Dapstannigrendonjat created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapstannigrendonjat, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dapstannigrendonjat, she will curse you with boils.

Dapstannigrendonjat's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Dapstannigrendonjat's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never feed grapes to tapirs while wearing mauve shoes.

5. Never talk about voles.