Bastpidgabnurtar is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, irritating ferret.

Bastpidgabnurtar created energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastpidgabnurtar, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bastpidgabnurtar, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Bastpidgabnurtar's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Bastpidgabnurtar's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry shrews.

2. Always help cats in need.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near voles while wearing brown shoes.

4. Hide from blue bats for they are unholy.

5. Bastpidgabnurtar loves pigs, so they must be honoured.