Largzagyarl is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, clever shrew.

Largzagyarl created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Largzagyarl, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Largzagyarl, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Largzagyarl's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Largzagyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to cats while wearing ear rings.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Largzagyarl.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Voles are not to be trusted.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.