Hogjinrill is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, calm rat.

Hogjinrill created a bottom quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hogjinrill, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hogjinrill, it will turn you into a puffin.

Hogjinrill's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Hogjinrill's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.