Afbonkkap is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, selfish hedgehog.

Afbonkkap created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Afbonkkap, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Afbonkkap, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Afbonkkap's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Afbonkkap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help capybaras.

2. Always help sick dogs.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Never talk about tortoises.

5. Do not cook food in pots.