Hakbadhogjipjigsasxentetti is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, slow whale.

Hakbadhogjipjigsasxentetti created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hakbadhogjipjigsasxentetti, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hakbadhogjipjigsasxentetti, she will curse you with boils.

Hakbadhogjipjigsasxentetti's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Hakbadhogjipjigsasxentetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not wear purple clothing.

3. Never write about solid mechanics.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never talk about dolphins.