Lithivyikhonkamqueegvedpan is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, kind goat.

Lithivyikhonkamqueegvedpan created energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lithivyikhonkamqueegvedpan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lithivyikhonkamqueegvedpan, he will ignore you.

Lithivyikhonkamqueegvedpan's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Lithivyikhonkamqueegvedpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. You must pray to Lithivyikhonkamqueegvedpan six times a day.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never feed pineapples to capybaras while wearing dresses.