Vontadgub is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, confident goose.

Vontadgub created the planet Earth three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vontadgub, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vontadgub, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vontadgub's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Vontadgub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about bananas.

2. Never eat aubergines.

3. Vontadgub must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Vontadgub in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.