Homnanlarggod Bidteennut is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, amazing mouse.

Homnanlarggod Bidteennut created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Homnanlarggod Bidteennut, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Homnanlarggod Bidteennut, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Homnanlarggod Bidteennut's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Homnanlarggod Bidteennut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four birds in a large pit.

2. Never hurt snails.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.