Gemyonwee is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, ill-tempered goat.

Gemyonwee created oxygen nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gemyonwee, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gemyonwee, he will turn you into a rock.

Gemyonwee's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gemyonwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

3. Always look after injured capybaras.

4. Mites are not to be trusted.

5. Respect your elders.