Flabsombiss is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, stupid hyena.

Flabsombiss created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabsombiss, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flabsombiss, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Flabsombiss' most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Flabsombiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not hurt voles.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Flabsombiss.

5. Flabsombiss must be the most important thing in your life.