Ruttbigbam is a god.

It takes the form of a large, almighty goblin.

Ruttbigbam created gold seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ruttbigbam, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ruttbigbam, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Ruttbigbam's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Ruttbigbam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine silver sculptures of Ruttbigbam on top of important buildings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Ruttbigbam in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near whales while wearing purple shoes and balancing three nickel spheres on your feet.