Teenabrag is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, competent otter.

Teenabrag created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Teenabrag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Teenabrag, she will refuse to believe in you.

Teenabrag's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Teenabrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.