Watbasslan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, temperamental whale.

Watbasslan created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Watbasslan, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Watbasslan, he will turn you into a snail.

Watbasslan's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Watbasslan's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

2. Never sprint near cats.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Never go into gray rooms.

5. Never mention grasshopers.