Fadjamtim is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, duplicitous pigeon.

Fadjamtim created the planet Venus eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadjamtim, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fadjamtim, she will turn you into a plant.

Fadjamtim's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Fadjamtim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple goats for they are unholy.

2. Never mention monkeys.

3. Never feed lots of cherries to birds while wearing cyan stockings.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never talk about hamsters.