Mutparkvenkom is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, fast dragonfly.

Mutparkvenkom created everything that exists three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mutparkvenkom, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mutparkvenkom, he will think nothing of it.

Mutparkvenkom's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Mutparkvenkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Run away if nine capybaras approach from the west.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never think about solid mechanics.

5. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.