Tonknurt is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, humorless whale.

Tonknurt created viruses nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonknurt, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tonknurt, she will turn you into a sheep.

Tonknurt's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Tonknurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not take Tonknurt's name in vain.