Flatspaging is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, egotistical penguin.

Flatspaging created the Large Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatspaging, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flatspaging, she will turn you into a hamster.

Flatspaging's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Flatspaging's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not kill dolphins.

3. Never bounce in the presence of manatees.

4. You must never eat melons.

5. Always help sick grasshopers.