Lagpodrag is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, effective alligator.

Lagpodrag created Africa eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagpodrag, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lagpodrag, she will torture you forever.

Lagpodrag's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Lagpodrag's Holy Commandments

1. Lagpodrag loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Never write about quantum mechanics.

4. Hide if nine rats approach from the south.

5. Always obey Lagpodrag's priests.