Lopvabpas is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, sage dingo.

Lopvabpas created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopvabpas, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lopvabpas, she will turn you into a mouse.

Lopvabpas' most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Lopvabpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat beans.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Lopvabpas in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near moths while wearing blue coats and balancing eight silicon spheres on your arms.