Narlkemhen is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, egotistical toad.

Narlkemhen created a charm quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Narlkemhen, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Narlkemhen, it will turn you into a puffin.

Narlkemhen's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Narlkemhen's Holy Commandments

1. Narlkemhen must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Snails are not to be trusted.

4. Never paint your head green.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.