Quatstergub is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, dishonest hummingbird.

Quatstergub created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Quatstergub, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quatstergub, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Quatstergub's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Quatstergub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Quatstergub.

3. Always obey Quatstergub's priests.

4. Always help geese.

5. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.