Stan is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, compassionate chinchilla.

Stan created the planet Jupiter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Stan, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Stan, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Stan's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Stan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near voles while wearing magenta stockings and balancing seven copper spheres on your back.

2. You must love Stan.

3. Never talk about doves.

4. Run away if four mites approach from the west.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.