Larndimflap is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, witless slug.

Larndimflap created the universe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larndimflap, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Larndimflap, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Larndimflap's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Larndimflap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six ducks approach from the north.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never write about quantum mechanics.

4. Never feed peas to bats while wearing coats.

5. You must pray to Larndimflap four times a day.